Marketing specialists have told me to write shorter articles because no one reads anything these days. If you feel bored reading long texts… stick with me! I’m sure you’ll find this interesting.
Also, as a quick disclaimer, I don’t believe that this article is totally correct, or magically solves everyone's problems. This article is a sequence of ideas, and you are along for the journey!
Life is what it is. We face drama in our daily lives and it is our decision to react and deal with the reality in front of us. During my professional career, I found that we could divide people into two groups:
Those who understand the importance of dealing with their emotions and perspectives of reality.
Those who are slaves to their emotions and maintain the wrong mental archetypes.
Of course, there are some difficult occasions where we will need to embellish to carry on, after all, we are not robots! Though, thankfully, this is only a small fraction of our lives. Thinking deeply is not an easy task, and what we perceive that is important to us and what is ingrained into our personalities is hard to consistently judge, as it changes as time draws on.
When I look back to my upbringing, I can see what I disliked in my parents’ behaviour. Something that I love nowadays, which is weird to think of, but it’s true.
In most cases, my students have the choice to implement changes in their lives with immediate results, proportioning better health, financial security for themselves and their families, alongside healthier relationships.
On the topic of overdramatisation, we get stuck and make irrational decisions, often bringing chaos to our lives. When our emotions are under control, they are fantastic tools as they let us enjoy the nice things in life. However, when we cannot control our emotions, they normally lead us to make regretful decisions, such as:
Having ugly fights in front of your children.
Being rude or easily irritated with someone at work.
When your ‘friends’ encourage you to abuse substances because they have a false sense of security in them.
Betraying the trust of a loved one.
Road rage… this is a common one, where we may feel foolish afterward.
Abusing your children physically.
Letting jealousy get out of hand… maybe declaring it in a very public place.
This list is inexhaustive.
While it might sound like I am trying to take the moral high ground here, even I feel these things. So please don’t misread my experiences as: “this muppet says he knows everything and doesn’t have feelings!”
It’s not about taking the moral high ground, but how we feel after taking actions that we know are wrong and demoralise us. It can create a negative vibe with the people whom we love and care about the most, not to mention people who we don’t know.
If we learn how to create the right ‘drama,’ the best attitude, we can use the thousand year old tools that society has created. After this, chances are you are pointing your life and your karma, to a more comfortable and smoother future.
Most of the time this will involve therapy, medication and a rather painful revision of concepts and actions that we tend to avoid.
I Know What I Need To Change, But I Don’t Believe I Can Do It.
We can find a reason for this attitude in one of the best songs Pink Floyd ever made, Comfortably Numb. It is amazing! Other words that I would use to describe when you don’t think you can cope are: ‘inertia’ or ‘apathy’.
Whilst in this situation, you always strive to produce changes in your life. There will be a lot of effort involved, sometimes pain, and most of all: persistence. The laws of physics are also valid when looking at the mind and its emotions.
Newton's first law: Inertia
The first law states that an object at rest will stay at rest and an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted on by an external force.
In other words, negativity creates negativity. If a person starts to spiral into a ‘black hole’, it is much harder to work your way out of it, as you may not notice how far you’ve fallen and it can spawn a cycle of negative thoughts and mental associations. So, we have to try to look on the brighter side of life.
Now this is probably what comes to your mind, as with many of my students:
You don’t know my life.
You don’t understand how difficult it is for me.
My problems feel bigger than me.
I am too hurt, and I have no enthusiasm for life.
I just feel that it is not worth the effort.
While this may be odd to hear, it’s OK to feel emotions when bad things happen, this is human nature. It’s how we can recover from these negativities that matters and how we can empower ourselves to succeed in life.
Your dream place
Once you spend the time revising who you are and what makes you happy, life is much more ‘doable’ and more interesting to take part in. Sometimes it’s not easy as people might prefer having financial security and doing what they love on weekends and evenings, but it’s about finding the right balance. Have you noticed that when you speak with people, their eyes shine? When a person does what they love, it 100% shines through.
A while ago I met a diving instructor in Greece, a French national, but I could see the happiness and satisfaction in everything he did. Whether it was from the instructions pre-diving or the afternoon lunch break with his pupils, he was constantly smiling.
I couldn’t resist and started to investigate how a French gent could end up at a diving school in Greece and the answer was very simple and given with a smile:
“I couldn’t do any other thing than this, not even for all the money in the world, every time I am in the ocean, I feel gratitude and connection with the world.”
I love the word ‘connection’. It makes sense to me, it is exactly how I feel when I am working with my students: I feel connected. The connection with what and how I feel, think and act is unified and flows throughout me flawlessly when I get into this mindset.
So, if you feel I have spoken to you today, please join me for a strategy call to sharpen your mindset, build your confidence and strengthen your mental muscles to succeed.
At your service,